Title: Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)

Starring Jenny Wade, Clu Gulager, Diane Goldner, Tom Gulager, Martin Klebba, Carl Anthony Payne II, Juan Longoria Garcia and Hanna Putnam

Produced by Dimension Extreme

Written by Martin Dunstan and Patrick Melton

Directed by John Gulager

Score: Technical: 70, Story: 95, Acting: 95, Overall: 87

I have been waiting for this moment since I first found out about it: the release of Feast II: Sloppy Seconds. Now, when I say that, I say that out of extreme love/hate, mostly because the first film was near perfection and I had no idea how they would manage a second one. For those who don’t know, Feast was the winner of Ben Affleck/Matt Damon media lovechild, “Project Greenlight 3.” It’s genius, unique and pokes fun at the genre itself while acting as a perfect addition to the genre. The second, however, well…see below.

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds not only shows what happened elsewhere while the bar in the first film was getting attacked, but it takes survivors from both events, has them band together and continue on their journey for survival. This time around, we have Biker Queen, the twin of Harley Mom from the first film, who discovers the Bartender hiding under a trailer. They, along with Queen’s biker gang of chicks, enter a nearby deserted town where car salesman Slasher (he slashes prices!), his wife, Secrets (who’s obsessed with self-help book The Secret) and her lover, Greg Swank, are hiding out. Along the way, they find Honey Pie who the Bartender totally kicks the shit out of her, as he should (if you don’t understand this, see the first one immediately). When the beasts enter, they all run for safety, when they come across nugget (code for “little people”) luchador wrestlers Thunder and Lightning and their grandmother. Thunder tells them of the meth head, Hobo, hiding out in the jail across the street, and being that it’s the only safe place in town, the group devises a plan to enter despite the locked doors. Will they reach safety before they all become feasted upon? Watch and find out, dur!

Sequels are a very touchy subject for me, even more so than reboots. With a movie as great as the first Feast, nothing could really touch it. Naturally, I was curious to see it simply because all except one or two of the characters in the first one died and had no idea how there could be a sequel, period. Well, of course, the one ambiguous death of a character in the first film, the Bartender, was used to jumpstart the second film. That paired with the fact that Harley Mom, a prominent character in the first film, mysteriously has a twin sister, who’s out for not only monster ass, but to kill who killed her sister, Bozo. The connections to the first one, although strained, run well enough to keep the second story going.

As far as the acting goes, it was good, just as it was in the first film…but that could be because half the original cast was in it. Along with the edition of Martin Klebba, who is the best nugget on the planet, and Carl Anthony Payne II (you may remember him on “Martin”), it was pretty great all around.

Feast II is directed by John Gulager again, so it makes sense that the film is shot the same way. There are bits of shaky camera movements, but not too bad like SOME movies *AHEM*CLOVERFIELD*AHEM*.

Instead of doing the text intros like in the first film, the second film does the same thing, but has the character say whatever they want about themselves versus having you read it yourself. It wasn’t too bad, but I liked the only way better since it gave the film his old 70s feel.

Another good thing throughout the film was the use of flashbacks from the first movie. Instead of plastering them all over the place, they were used only when appropriate to describe either past characters or background for the story in general.

Now this is where my heart breaks a little. The first film you could tell had a decent budget simply because it used little to no CGI and mostly all prosthetic gore to get its disgusting point across. However, with Feast II, there’s a lot of CGI, and bad CGI at that, which made that sense of reality the first one offered totally disappear. In addition to CGI blood, more than half of the movie is shot in front of a green screen, which makes the movie almost unbearably cheesy. However, when they did use real gore, it was great.

Feast II focuses a lot on where the beasts come from and how they’re built. One of the characters gets a bright idea to cut the monster open (in a VERY disgusting process), only to discover there’s a Cyclops inside that makes a screeching noise to signal the others. Sounds a bit like the later installments of the Tremors series to me.

Comparing it directly to the first one, it’s terrible as far as pacing goes. Feast spaced out the characters deaths, the gore and moved the story along very smoothly. Feast II gives you a massive dose of gore (the beast farts, girls puke, poop is sprayed on girl, girls puke again, then monster semen, more puke, etc.). Maybe because there is purposefully a third movie coming out, almost no characters die in this film, whereas everyone except for one or two characters dies in the first. Those who die or get severely injured in the second installment are mostly by accident, not at the hands of the beasts themselves. It also introduced a cat/beast hybrid (again…Tremors sequels) in which they’re smaller and quicker than the originals.

The movie ends just as the beasts entire the scene, almost forcing you to watch the third (I know I will, unfortunately). Also, they seemingly kill Honey Pie, but just like any “good,” current horror flick, has a post-credits fake out and is actually alive. Oy vey. My head hurts.

Aside from a hilarious scene involving the “rescue” of a baby and watching two nuggets/little people wrestle, this movie is actually a pretty huge disappointment. I’m going to go home and watch the original to remember “back when”…*sigh*

DVD Special Features
-Audio Commentary
-Scared Half to Death Twice: The Making of Feast II
Interviews with cast and crew as well as talking about the monsters’ origin and the decision to focus on its sexual side.
-Meet the Gulagers
Pretty neat feature, actually. Talks about three generations in one film: Clu (Bartender) and sons John (directing) and Tom (acting as Greg Swank) alongside grandson Clu Mason (baby nugget actor). Diane Goldner AKA Biker Queen is married to John in real life.