Title: Love, Wedding, Marriage
Director: Dermot Mulroney
Starring: Mandy Moore, Kellan Lutz, James Brolin, Jane Seymour, Jessica Szohr
Was it a movie? Or a network sitcom posing as a feature length film? After 90 minutes, Love, Wedding, Marriage definitely felt more of the latter.
Eva (Mandy Moore) and Charlie (Kellan Lutz) are two successful kids in their late twenties who have just tied the knot. Eva is marriage psychologist while Charlie runs a successful vineyard operation. It could possibly make you vomit just how fairytale their life seems to be.
Then there’s Eva’s parents (James Brolin & Jane Seymour). While preparing to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary, the bottom falls out when Daddy comes clean about an affair that happened about 25 years ago. Instead of exploring the new world of marriage with her hubby, Eva is stressed out about her parents impending divorce and tries to use her knowledge as a therapist – along with her frustrated husband and wise-ass younger sister Shelby (Jessica Szohr) – to pull them back together before their surprise party. But of course, Eva learns a secret about Charlie’s past, and that has her all flustered about what it means to be married.
Basically, that’s the gist of it. No surprises, well, unless you count the unnecessary late addition of an illegitimate offspring (Richard Reid) dropping in; but there was no need for that character at all. The best way to describe everything you see is to picture your favorite afternoon sitcom go all network primetime. Hence, a Saved by the Bell product that could push the content envelope just a bit further. Even the acting is comparable. Mandy Moore is “Kelly” and Kellan Lutz has the persona of a mature “Zack” and the body of “A.C. Slater” (frequently inserted shameless scenes). And if we stretch it just a bit, Jessica Szohr is “Lisa Turtle.” Kind of makes you appreciate how competent the original 90210 was. Or at least trying to be.
The material is dinner-time safe television watching (Seinfeld, Raymond, etc.) that tries to bring in an emotional story. Yet there is literally only three substantial lines of dialogue that will register in your why-in-the-hell-did-I-pay-to-see-this mind. Seriously, count them. There so obvious because the rest of the dialogue is recycled just as the required acting is. And this is coming from someone who once stated that Mandy Moore is going to be a sought out talent in Hollywood not too long ago (not sure what head I was thinking with, but I‘ll stand by it).
After seeing how this story plays out and factoring in the direction of Dermot Mulroney – who is making his directorial debut (no kidding) – it seemed they were trying to play the story straight but sprinkle a little bit of fairytale dynamics within. Unfortunately, Mandy Moore’s character falls victim to this formula. Same with Jessica Szohr’s approach. Her sharp lines may have been more comical if everything around her wasn’t so rainbow and puppy dogged. And not chopped up. Thankfully a Christopher Lloyd cameo will give the viewer hope that this tale will get some much needed bite to it. It ends up being a false hope though.
Clearly the concept wasn’t working for this guy, but if one is able to strip away all the below-average mechanics, the cast was at least game to give it their all. And that is what keeps one casually involved in this predictable showcase.
Overall, Love, Wedding, Marriage needed to follow its own advice. The pattern of falling in love (awesome), getting married (stressful fun), and married life (repetition and frustration) is the theme of the piece. In the end, one has to be willing to spice it up to ensure the flame will keep burning. With that said, this flick needed a barrel of spices – or gunpowder – to reach functionality.
Technical: C
Acting: B
Story: D
Overall: D (for Dud)
Review by Joe Belcastro
