Title: George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories, Volume 1
Directed by: Jeff Monahan and Matt Walsh
Starring: Nick Mancuso, Kristin Slaysman, Jeff Monahan, Amy Marsalis and Bingo O’Malley
Running time: 76 minutes, Rated R
Three film shorts presented by the godfather of horror George A. Romero. In “Valley of the Shadow,” a woman gets funding to investigate her husband’s disappearance. “Wet,” a lonely alcoholic fisherman digs up the wrong type of buried treasure. Housecall, a town doctor is called to the home of a boy who is experiencing a change and it’s not puberty.
Oh George A. Romero, why did you agree to put your name on this steaming bowl of crap? The first film, “Valley of the Shadow” sounded ominous, but was boring and lame. A guy got a tribal dart shot through his mouth and it was stuck crooked to his cheek with probably spirit gum. Another guy got stabbed in the head ala Troma-style, which was so laughably bad.
In “Wet,” a fisherman digs up dismembered parts of a mermaid that are locked in separate jade boxes, which he is informed by his friend that it will not be a typical Disney-esque mermaid if he joins all the parts together. Guess what dumbass does?
The final film “Housecall” is about a boy who tells his mother he thinks he’s a vampire, so mom calls the doctor and the doctor makes a discovery and an announcement which was actually quite a surprise to me as the viewer.
In short, this film was basically a few episodes of Tales from the Darkside mashed together into one film. Not scary and poorly written; however, “Housecall” was the only decent short out of the whole film, and it’s hardly worth the trouble to buy or rent.
Total Rating: D
Reviewed by JM Willis
