Magnolia Pictures warns people who are thinking about pirating “John Dies at the End:” pirating my end in spontaneous combustion.

“John Dies at the End,” an independent film, wants you to support other independent films by buying them legally. “Before pirating ‘John Dies at the End’ be sure to watch the video below as stealing the film could result in severe health issues,” according to the release. “Those with an erection lasting over 4 hours after viewing ‘John Diest at the End’ please consult a physician.”

As the release states, it’s so simple to support independent films that “even a meat monster could do it.”

You can avoid all of the bad effects of piracy by buying or renting the “John Dies at the End” at iTunes, Amazon and Xbox, PS3, Cable, Satellite and more. Also, check out the video below to see why piracy is dangerous for you.

“John Dies at the End” is directed by Don Coscarelli and stars Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Clancy Brown and Paul Giamatti. The film, adapted from David Wong’s trans-genre horror novel, is a zany trip through time and space in order to save the world:

“In ‘John Dies at the End,’ it’s all about the Soy Sauce, a drug that promises an out-of-body experience with each hit. Users drift across time and dimensions. But some who come back are no longer human. Suddenly a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero. What it gets instead is John (Rob Mayes) and David (Chase Williamson), a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity? No. No, they can’t.”

The film comes to theaters January 25, 2013 and, as the links above show, is now available on VOD, iTunes and more. You can learn more about the film at the film’s website, Facebook page, and Twitter page.