Halfway through the year and openly absorbing whatever Hollywood tosses out there (including being tricked into seeing an under-achieving M. Night Shyamalan tease), perhaps the headline should read: The 2013 Movie Rankings: Mediocre Report.
The majority of flicks from both the big studio productions and hustling indie scene has been kind of lackluster. It’s almost as if everyone is playing it safe rather than going for it. That isn’t to say there hasn’t been impressive arrivals in the first half of the cinematic year. And that includes the pestering local filmmakers in my realm whose adorable stalking suckers me into watching their will-only-be-seen-by-friends-and-people-who-worked-on-the-film product.
I would strongly recommend checking out just about everything in the top 30 (though I need to give Man of Steel another solid gaze). My top 5 could be shuffled around and I would be content as a guy on Viagra stuck in a Las Vegas whorehouse. Slots #11 and #12 are wonderful sleeper hits and we may have already seen the best animations with two of them landing in the top 10. You’ll also find an engaging documentaries (#14 and #16) along with an experimental indie (#15) that was bold enough (cast well-known starlets and make them slutty) to force itself into the mainstream discussion.
As for the rest, the basement dweller could be the worst flick screened not just this year, but the year before that as well. Some genre features, though ranked presumably low (#43 and #52), were actually quite decent considering what they were going for. And even something such as #56, which will never see the light or darkness of a theater, actually projected out potential to the point that it was more enjoyable to watch than a similar product armed with a a cache of talent and money (#88).
Recent additions include Redemption, The Lone Ranger, and Despicable Me 2. And when factoring in the first one mentioned in the previous sentence, and then seeing where Parker landed, apparently Jason Statham is not jiving with yours truly this year (and I’m usually a shameless mark for his predictable work).
Oh, and hold-off on giving me shit for ranking Oz the Great and Powerful so high. That really over-achieved even if Franco was sleep-walking through a scene or seven.
Here’s how 2013 is shaping up thus far:
1. Star Trek Into Darkness
2. Side Effects
3. Trance
4. The Company You Keep
5. Warm Bodies
6. Escape from Planet Earth
7. Oz the Great and Powerful
8. Evil Dead
9. 42
10. The Croods
11. 21 and Over
12. The Story of Luke
13. Snitch
14. The K Effect
15. Spring Breakers
16. Louder than Love: The Grande Ballroom Story
17. Beautiful Creatures
18. The Place Beyond the Pines
19. Empire State
20. Gangster Squad
21. Now You See Me
22. The Heat
23. Fast & Furious 6
24. Love is All You Need
25. Man of Steel
26. The Great Gatsby
27. Monsters University
28. V/H/S 2
29. Maniac
30. The Iceman
31. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
32. Iron Man 3
33. Phil Spector
34. This Is the End
35. Dead Man Down
36. The Lone Ranger
37. The Hangover Part III
38. The Big Wedding
39. Hecho en Mexico
40. Stoker
41. Confine
42. Epic
43. Texas Chainsaw 3D
44. Bless Me, Ultima
45. Mama
46. Broken City
47. The Last Stand
48. World War Z
49. Oblivion
50. Behind the Candelabra
51. Renoir
52. No One Lives
53. Lore
54. The Shift
55. Admission
56. Exit 727
57. The Numbers Station
58. Stories We Tell
59. Emperor
60. Stand Up Guys
61. Peeples
62. Much Ado About Nothing
63. Olympus Has Fallen
64. Dark Skies
65. The Purge
66. White House Down
67. Despicable Me 2
68. After Earth
69. Monk
70. Aftershock
71. The ABCs of Death
72. The Lords of Salem
73. The Last Exorcism Part II
74. Jack the Giant Slayer
75. The Host
76. Room 237
77. The Call
78. Safe Haven
79. John Dies at the End
80. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
81. A Haunted House
82. Bullet to the Head
83. Redemption
84. Identity Thief
85. A Good Day to Die Hard
86. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
87. Parker
88. Pain & Gain
89. Divorce Invitation
90. 6 Souls
91. Scary Movie 5
Not screened Notables: Mud, The Internship, The Bling Ring, The East, Tyler Perry’s Temptation
Follow JOE BELCASTRO, Vice-Chairman of the Florida Film Critics Circle, on TWITTER.
